


of courage and cowardice

by wwhale_enthusiast



Category: Hiveswap
Genre: Best Friends, Break Up, Crisis of Faith, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Implied Relationships, M/M, Nightmares, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Other, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Physical Abuse, Stabbing, this is a pale polgiri fic not a langiri fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-02-16 03:16:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18683023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wwhale_enthusiast/pseuds/wwhale_enthusiast
Summary: This was the first time he'd ever felt like this. Tegiri didn't know what to do.





	1. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegiri makes a decision.

Tegiri walked along the streets of Outglut on his way home from work. He kept a sharp eye out for potential lawbreakers; he considered them to be his greatest adversaries. His thoughts wandered as he krept about. Only a few paces onto his own street, he noticed the sounds of laughter and fire. “Arsonists,” he thought. “If they’ve attacked a higher caste than their own, then I must apprehend them!” He got behind a wall and peeked out at the scene. Sure enough, a goldblood and their friends stood chuckling near a flaming building. Tegiri leapt out of his hiding place, unsheathing his sword, and barrelled towards the group. From his point of view, his magnificent war cry was what caused them to scatter. 

Tegiri was chasing them now. Well, he would have been, if his legs were not stuck to the ground. He stared at the burning hive. A voice deep inside of him begged him to run inside; there might be survivors. However, this was an oliveblood hive. A lower caste than his own. A true man of Alternian justice would have culled the perpetrators rather than saved the owner of the hive. After all, their lusus was probably dead, and that would mean he’d have to cull the troll as well. But the voice was persistent. It took over his body, and against his better judgement he rushed into the flames. 

The inside of the building was as decimated as the outside. Wooden beams fell to the floor at irregular intervals. Tegiri looked frantically for any sign of life until he saw a small girl lying on the floor. She had long black hair tied back in a ponytail, and wore a black outfit with her sign on the shirt. With considerable effort Tegiri picked her up and left the hive. He tried to be careful of her obviously broken legs as he ran, but she still groaned in pain. 

When they were a sure distance from the neighborhood, Tegiri gingerly placed the girl down in the softest looking patch of grass he could find. He turned to go when he heard a voice.

“aren’t you going to cull me*|”

Tegiri whipped around. “We//, no, not-”

“my lusus is dead *and you’re a tealblood*| isn’t that what you’re supposed to do*|” The troll spoke with incredible cynicism.

“You’re right, but…” Tegiri looked down at her. Her eyes seemed to egg him on. He felt a twinge in his heart. He sighed and raised his sword.

Tegiri grimaced while he tried to make himself bring the sword down on the girl’s neck. They remained there like that for a full 2 ½ minutes. He sighed and put his blade away. “Don’t say a word about this,” he grumbled. Without looking back, he left the scene as fast as he could.

****

Tegiri sat on his pillow in front of his TV with Tadashi Inu. Both sets of eyes were glued to the screen, which was showing an olive boy having an emotional conversation with a very strong violetblood man. Tegiri pet his lusus gently. Suddenly, just as he was beginning to tear up, there was a knock at the door. When he answered it, he was confronted with a small olive girl- the same one he had saved a while earlier. He was almost too shocked to speak.

“hey*|” she said nonchalantly.

“He//o?” Tegiri replied.

“thanks for saving me*| i would have died if you hadn’t been there*|”

“Oh, um, no prob/em.”

“my name is polypa*|” Polypa held out her hand.

“Mine’s Tegiri,” Tegiri took her hand and shook it. “If you want to come inside, I can make us some tea.” 

Polypa stepped into Tegiri’s hive. Tadashi Inu watched the pair, panting and wagging his tail. “That beautifu/ white barkbeast is my /usus,” Tegiri said while he prepared the teapot. “You may pet him if you wish. He is very friend/y.” 

“i see*|” Polypa watched as the monkey-dog bounded over to her. She kneeled down and began to stroke his soft fur. Tegiri glimpsed the soft smile on her face and immediatley shuffled to the kitchen. He felt the same twinge in his chest that he had the night he had saved her. He recognized this feeling as the spark that could ignite certian desires. He knew if this kept up he would soon be thinking of holding Polypa’s hand, taking her to all the places he loved, and even introducing her to his coworkers. Friends? No, Tegiri didn’t have any friends. Tagora and Tyzias were nice to him, but all of the trolls that accompanied him at work detested him deep in their hearts. He was sure of it. That was what made everything so tragic. Every time he developed any kind of feelings for someone, be they platonic or quadrant-related, there had been no reciprocation: only pity. Polypa would be the same- if she even stuck around. He decided to ignore these emotions for now.

The teapot screamed, jolting Tegiri out of his trance. He picked it up and poured its contents into two small china teacups, and brought them out to Polypa. “Here is our tea. It is jasmine and green. Be carefu/, it is very hot.” He handed one of the delicate cups to the oliveblood. She blew on the liquid. “Would you like to take in some Eastern Alternian fine art with me?” 

Polypa almost laughed. Tegiri felt dread beginning to well up in his throat. “sure *why not*|” she replied.


	2. Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegiri has a realization.

“tegiri wwwwhy do you wwwwatch this” Tyzias mumbled barely loud enough for the room to hear. Idol girls danced on the screen of the TV in front of them. “name one logical reason that this showwww exists” She sat on the floor of Tegiri’s hive, along with Tagora, Polypa, and the owner of the home. They were all watching some Affection Survival!, which has a much softer plotline than the title implies. Tegiri was ecstatic that they had agreed to come over for the night. He had excitedly shown them all of his Affection Survival! figurines except for his prized Niicco Yazawa. This one was for very special people only.

“It’s fantastic. You just can’t understand, Tyzias. You’re a /ady of poor taste.” Tegiri retorted.

“I don’t see how people like it, but if it makes you happy, then that’s great. *_______” Tagora said. Tyzias nodded in agreement. There was just a single troll besides Tegiri who was actually enjoying the show, but the others stayed because they wanted to spend time with their dear friends. You see, Polypa had been introduced to the older tealblood gang, and they had taken her in as one of their own. 

“i don’t know gorgor *i think it’s pretty cool*|” Polypa smiled at Tegiri, but he was too busy watching to notice. 

Tagora sighed. “Polypa, you hang out with him too much. *_______” he said.

When the last episode of the season was over and the bright Alternian sun threatened to come over the horizon, Tagora and Tyzias said their goodbyes. “Do you have somewhere to stay for the day, Po/ypa?” Tegiri asked after they had left.

“no*| if it’s okay with you *i want to stay at your place*|” Polypa replied.

“It wou/d be my p/easure.” Tegiri began closing up the windows. He used thick, pitch dark curtains secured tightly with teal ties so that no sunlight would get in and the pair could sleep in peace.

“hey tegiri *what’s up with you and tagora*|”

“What’s up with… nani?”

“i saw the doe eyes you were making at him*|”

Oh boy. Ohhhhh boy. Tegiri immediately flushed a deep bluish color. “Uh, it’s nothing. I wi// go get the guest recupracoon set up now.” He rushed into his bedroom area in an attempt to dodge the question, only for Polypa to catch him with her response before he could busy himself. 

“do you like him*|” Tegiri turned around and found Polypa looking right at him. “what quadrant*|”

“...Flushed.” He admitted quietly.

“he probably doesn’t know yet *but let's not be too hasty with this*|” 

“Wait, hasty with what? Are you a re/ationship guru or something?” Tegiri’s eyes widened. “I am not going to te// him.” 

“tegs if you want to enter any quadrant with anyone you have to tell them*|” Polypa’s expression was deadly serious. Tegiri blushed a little more when he realized that she had used a nickname. “if you aren’t ready thats fine *but if you really want to get with that little twink you need to tell him sooner or later*|”

“It is /ess that, and more…” Tegiri took a deep breath, anxiety rising like steam. “I don’t think he even /ikes me as a friend. I fee/ /ike he just hangs out with me out of pity. That’s how it fee/s with everyone.” He sat down on his pillow and started to cry. He studied his hands, trying to stifle the tears. Speaking of hands, he suddenly felt one gently set itself on his shoulder.

“i don’t hang out with you out of pity*|” Polypa sat down next to Tegiri. Upon realizing that the hand was hers, he hugged her. She was surprised by the sudden contact but ended up wrapping her arms around him as well. It was at this point that the spark that was mentioned previously ignited a forest fire- and the flame burned pink. The pause that followed was long and comforting.

“Wou/d you /ike to see Niicco?”


	3. Reconsider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegiri ponders things.

It was a cool autumn evening. A cold breeze blew, keeping most trolls in their hives. Leaves danced about on the wind. Not all was well, however. The sound of a crackling fire filled Tegiri’s head. It poured into his ears, almost too much to handle all at once. He stood in front of a burning mansion, watching its very foundation beginning to crumble. He was frozen cold on the spot. He could not move at all, not one inch. “There cou/d be survivors,” he told himself. “If you don’t save them, who wi//?”

He tried and tried to pick up his disobedient feet and take a step, but the sound kept rushing into his brain. All he wanted in that moment was to lie down and cry or for the sound to stop. His katana visibly quivered in his hand. All he could do was shake.

“)(-ELLO! ANYON-E?” He heard a shout from inside of the building. Someone was in there, yet Tegiri still could not move. Try as he might, his body would not budge. It infuriated and disgusted him. The building began to tremble abruptly. There was a feminine screech that sent a chill straight down to his bloodpusher, like an icicle being driven into his chest. A large figure with massive horns began to rise from the ruined structure. 

“You.” she said. “You are a disgrace to Alternian justice. )(ow could you rush into the flames to spare a simple oliveblood, one you are legally obligated to cull at that, but not your own Empress?” Tegiri couldn’t breathe. Her Imperious Condescension pointed directly at him. “You care more about filt)(y midbloods t)(an your own queen. I will kill you myself.” Her foot lifted from the rubble and crashed down as she began to run towards him. He bolted as fast as he could into a nearby forest, but he was not fast enough. She caught Tegiri by the horns and lifted him up painfully into the air. He hung there limp, staring in disbelief and terror. The Condesce pulled his sword from its sheath and plunged it directly into his stomach.

Tegiri rose with a start. He was covered in sweat and sopor slime. Breathing hard, he slowly pulled a pillow into his recupracoon. He held his dear Hikawa tightly, beginning to cry again. The guilt of questioning the law was catching up with him. If saving Polypa was a serious crime, then what of the morality of the rest of the rules? Was it immoral for bluebloods to keep slaves, for example? Probably. This had been the third time this perigee he’d had this exact dream. Not being able to rescue the inhabitants of the building. Her Imperious Condescension rising from the charred ruins to catch and kill him. He’d thrown up the first time he woke from it.

When his eyes finally became dry, Tegiri sighed sleepily. He’d sobbed for at least an hour, thinking about how Alternia’s legal system, or any of its systems for that matter, could be considered barbaric. He did not know whether to continue serving under the reigning fuschia queen or to join the lowblood rebellion. He didn’t see anything in between as an option. As these thoughts battled in his head, Tegiri fell into a deep, fitful sleep.


End file.
